D&D Campfire Stories: BURN IT!

This week I have a story from one of my old PCs in a campaign that I was running. Enjoy!

“Player 1 and I are half-brothers. He's a thief and I'm an assassin. I am a half orc and he's a half elf (our mom got around). We are also traveling around with a wizard (Player 2). We arrive in a town, from where I don't remember. We find an inn and go looking for some supplies we neglected to purchase earlier. While buying some supplies, Player 1 and I case the joint and decide what to come back and steal. After checking into the inn, we sit down and decide what to do next as it becomes evening. Player 2 decides that, as a wizard, he needs to go over his spells, study, and rest up. Player 1 and I decide that we need to explore and steal things as we are wicked awesome.

We leave the inn and saunter around looking for houses with “rich people stuff” in them. Deciding on a few, we head back over to the supply shop to see if breaking in will indeed be possible. It looks like it may be but we leave it for later. We wait until dark and head back over to the rich side of town. Trying the doors we manage to pick a lock and rob a place. We don't get much, maybe a golden arrow or some such thing. Unsatisfied with our meager haul, we continue on to another house. Something happens and the guards are alerted. I want to say we get busted in a house by the owner and I kill him and we throw his body out the window and that alerts the guards but I'm not sure. What I do remember is that as the guards are coming in downstairs we are heading out the window and onto the roof. From there we hop over to another roof and throw flasks of oil onto the house and shoot it with flaming arrows. Then we high tail it in the opposite direction throwing oil on some other houses for good measure and lighting them on fire (either by arrow or turning flasks into Molotov’s).

Feeling confident that we have not been seen by the guards, we attempted to break into the supply shop to replenish our depleted oil stocks. I think we set off an alarm here. Guards arrive and we are made. We scramble onto the roof and set this store on fire and hop across to another roof. A guard clambers up and is firing a cross bow at us. I get hit (critically) and fall mid jump breaking an arm. Player 1, in an act of true brotherly love, continues to escape but doesn’t get very far. We end up in jail.

Player 2 shows up and tries to bail us out but the guards say he doesn’t have enough coin as we burned down a lot of the town. Eventually we are bailed out by the captain of a ship who makes us his slaves with a magically binding contract. On the ship we meet Squee. He’s a goblin, the first mate, and a real prick. We try to kill him and fail miserably and thus endeth the adventure for the evening.”

- Art "The Chaos Engine" James